Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Manifesto III

Don't make the mistake of thinking we believe in these things because they are true. They would be true anyway, as long as anyone defined them as true. As to what is Really Real, I have no idea. Just some guesses that seem less unlikely than others.

A great deal of ink has been spilled, not to mention blood, over the question of Who is Right. At long last, the question can be answered.

No one is.

And since the Invisible Left Hand of Jesus Society is the organization bringing you this happy news, it thereby follows that WE are the ones who are right. Naturally, this contradicts the earlier statement, but we are not burdened with the heavy baggage of caring about such things.

- Let's Go Ahead and Get This Part Out of the Way -

This is a Manifesto of Excommunication Directed at all Other Discordian Sects. The ILHJ only practices Safe Sects.
Every Discordian Pope is hereby Excommunicated from the Invisible Left Hand of Jesus Society, effective now and for all time into the Future. Every Man, Woman, and Child on Earth is a Discordian Pope. In order to belong to the ILHJ, it is a requirement that one not currently belong, and that one is a Discordian Pope. If these conditions are met, membership is mandatory.

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